Information, insight, and inspiration for people going through divorce from the Divorce Doc, Alison Patton

“I learned the hard way that I cannot always
count on others to respect my feelings, even
if I respect theirs. Being a good person
doesn’t guarantee that others will be good
people. You only have control over yourself
and how you choose to be as a person. As for
others, you can only choose to accept them
or walk away.” —Author unknown

This is a common question I get, so a few years ago I put together an article on this topic and it originally ran on Huffington Post.  I’ve updated the information a bit.  Click here to find that article, entitled “How to Decide Whether to Mediate.”  Also on this same page are other free articles and information which I hope you will find helpful as you navigate your way through divorce.

For more of my articles on divorce, go to my Huffington Post page by clicking here.

For divorce consultation or more information about my services, I can be reached at alison@lemonadedivorce.com.

Today I have the pleasure of being a guest on Divorce Sucks: A Smart Girl’s Guide to Doing  it Better, hosted on VoiceAmerica by Laura Miolla (Divorce Coach, creator of MoxieLife.com).  The program airs live today at 10 a.m. California time, 1 p.m. Eastern time.   It’s available on demand at any time after that.  Click here to go to the podcast replay.

I didn’t think he cared.
Twice weekly visits
seemed enough for him,
A dinner, a chat, an update
on life and school.
No more, no less.
Neither shallow nor deep.
A hug goodbye, a wave,
the door would shut, we would drive away
and our life would go on.

It wasn’t until years later
in rage, as we crossed
swords and words
that the truth came out.
He’d been lonely, he’d been sad.
Saying goodbye
broke his heart every time.

He hid it behind the man
he’d been raised to be.
A man who holds it inside
and shows no pain.
A man, a family man,
who woke up,
went to work,
wrote the checks
paid the bills
cleaned his kitchen
took out the trash
locked the doors
turned off Read More »

Cinder (with his buddy Daisy)

Chester
February 2015

Five months ago, our orange and white tabby was hit by a car and killed. Cinder was his name and he was a bit of a local celebrity. The second half of his life he took to roaming the neighborhoods and hanging out at our local high school. He became a fixture there and somehow convinced the teachers and staff to allow him free run of the campus. Most days you could find him sleeping in the classrooms or media lab, on the patio sunning himself, or hanging Read More »

I think I’ve used some of these phrases he mentions. I guess I must be “ultra spiritual!”

(One of the funniest YouTube videos I’ve seen.  Sit back and have a good laugh!)

-Alison

SOMETIMES

…you come to a place whose only task
is to trouble you
with tiny but frightening requests
conceived out of nowhere
but in this place
beginning to lead everywhere.
Requests to stop what
you are doing right now,
and
to stop what you
are becoming
while you do it,
questions
that can make
or unmake
a life,
questions
that have patiently
waited for you,
questions
that have no right
to go away.

-David Whyte