My Midlife Crisis — If Only I Had Time for It

(Originally published on Huffington Post Divorce.)

I just realized the other day that I’m at the age where I should be having my midlife crisis. In fact, when I think back, my parents went through theirs right about this same time of life. They separated in their mid-forties and my dad moved out. He bought himself a shiny red MG convertible and started dating a woman closer to my age than his own. Although I don’t recall my dad cooking a single meal during my childhood (except BBQ, which every Texan male does starting at birth), he took up gourmet cooking and Read More »

Some Thoughts on Grief (and a poem that brought me back to life)

Healing from divorce is a long process.  Everyone eventually recovers and finds happiness, but the first year or two is more about grief than new life.  I wish it could be different, but that’s just the way it is for most people.

Personally I’ve experienced grief twice in my life, and both times it felt overwhelming.  Thanks to genetics (for which I can’t take any credit), it has generally been easy for me to find joy and satisfaction in my daily life without much effort. Yet during those years of grief, I felt lost inside and I couldn’t find that person I Read More »

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned #2 (My advice is still: try mediation first)

The Mouse In My House

We have four cats—all hunters who, despite the bell we affix to their collars, regularly bring us catches from the canyon:  mice, rats, birds, lizards, even an occasional baby rabbit and King snake.  As early as six-years old, my kids became adept at either rescuing a still-live animal from the cat’s mouth (which they’d release back into the canyon), or putting a plastic bag over their hand to pick up and dispose of the ones that didn’t make it.

So you can imagine our surprise to discover that we have a mouse who has taken up residence in our house.  We’ve Read More »

Happy Thanksgiving, and as we officially launch the holiday season . . .

I am reminded of a quote by Matt Groening (creator of The Simpsons):

“Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.”

(And this applies whether you’re married, separated, divorced or single.)

Good luck and hang in there!

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” (My advice: try mediation first)


Feed the Love, Starve the Anger

(photo by Anant N S)

You never know where you’re going to get the next piece of wisdom. Yesterday my son and I were at Trader Joe’s grocery store, enjoying a quick morning chat with a store employee named Wendy who runs the sample station. Wendy is one of those persons who knows how to talk to kids and really listens. We’ve become quite attached to her after shopping at this store and exchanging conversation multiple times. On this particular morning, my son was sharing some thoughts about what he liked and didn’t like about his recent 6th grade camp experience, Read More »

The Pursuit of Happiness

I just finished The Happiness Project, a book by Gretchen Rubin based on her year-long project to make her life happier. It was a good read with tips I’m going to integrate into my own life. When this book came out in 2009, book clubs started their own happiness projects based on Rubin’s formula. As with most things trendy, I’m a little late in the game, but fortunately the steps from her book can be started anytime.

Taking some of Rubin’s key points and applying them to marriage and divorce, this is what I’ve come up with:

1. Read More »