Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned #2 (My advice is still: try mediation first)

By Alison Patton | Published: July 26, 2013

  • Tara Tiantian Cheng

    This is too bad for her. I remember there is a quote saying that everytime we direct an attack thought (in this case is an attack behavior which is even worse) toward someone else, see a sword dropping over their head, and then remember it is actually dropping on yours. Such as lose-lose situation for both the woman and her husband.

    • apatton

      Yes, so true. I get a laugh from these billboards, as we all do, but it does remind me of that expression: “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” I’ve found in my own life that anytime I hold onto anger or resentment, it eats away at me and puts me in a spiritual and emotional slump. Divorce is just the same.

      • Tara Tiantian Cheng

        I think of there is a line in A Course in Miracles which is popularly preached by Marianne Williamson – From a metaphysical perspective, there is nothing outside of you.

    • Raspberry girl

      I don’t see the attack or the poison here , or for that matter any anger . We are taught we are worthy of truth . When her husband refused her that she was clever enough to find the truth on her own . This is clever ( far more than I could ever be) and she released him of the weight of his lies . As someone who found out at a nearly fatal point that my ex was cheating by way of an std I think this is simple , she respects herself , she trusted her gut and found truth and set him free with it something he did not have the dignity to do .

      • apatton

        I have mixed feelings about these kinds of public displays. They are very funny at one level. I also agree it takes cleverness, and no doubt it was “deserved” if we’re looking at it from the perspective of fairness. But as someone who works with families during and after divorce, I believe this level of anger/revenge and public humiliation can destroy any chances of the divorce being civil and the parents having a shot at cooperative co-parenting in the future. I’ve had many cases that started with an affair, and it’s never easy and certainly terribly unfair and painful for the cheated-on spouse, but those cases that come to mediation can and do settle down and often sincere apologies are made and the divorce (and future co-parenting) can get to a smooth path. I do fear that this level of “revenge” will launch this divorce into legal conflict and in that situation, the short-term pleasure of getting revenge can turn into a long and vicious cycle of legal retaliation that will end up harming the Wife as well as any children involved. Revenge feels great at first but it’s really a bad idea when it comes to divorce. Everyone suffers when a divorce turns nasty (except the lawyers).

  • Kathiey

    I don’t see it as anger. I see it as just the facts. It was his choice not hers. I hope she can move on and be happy.