The Pursuit of Happiness

I just finished The Happiness Project, a book by Gretchen Rubin based on her year-long project to make her life happier. It was a good read with tips I’m going to integrate into my own life. When this book came out in 2009, book clubs started their own happiness projects based on Rubin’s formula. As with most things trendy, I’m a little late in the game, but fortunately the steps from her book can be started anytime.

Taking some of Rubin’s key points and applying them to marriage and divorce, this is what I’ve come up with:

1. Read More »

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability

Very inspirational and thought-provoking – a good way to start a new year with a new vision.

Surviving the Holidays

photo by Theresa Thompson

(This blog post ran in 2010. I’m posting it again this holiday season due to positive feedback from readers last year. If this is your first holiday season separated/ divorced, don’t lose heart. You can do it! Read on!)

The child in me will always love the holidays. I take such pleasure in traditions–hanging our outdoor lights, getting the tree, retrieving the Christmas boxes from the attic, spending one night of Hanukkah with friends.

Along with the glitz and magic, however, comes the reality that holidays are hard on everyone, divorced or not. I remember my Read More »


The Divorce Doc will be taking a sabbatical! Yes, after a wonderful year and a half of blogging and writing, I am taking a leave to spend time with my family and to travel.

I will be out of the country for part of the time, so please forgive any delayed response to emails and comments. I look forward to getting back to business in the Fall and will begin posting again in time for the holidays. Enjoy the summer!

Is Monogamy In Marriage Unrealistic?

(As originally published on Huffington Post Divorce, May 23, 2011)

After years of handling divorces, I thought nothing could shock me. And then a client told me about Ashley Madison, the website for “The discreet who want to cheat.” Their slogans are: “Life is short, have an affair,” and “When divorce is not an option, isn’t it time for” One of their websites has a flashing button you click to “Get laid now.”

I’m evidently out of touch, because a lot of people know about this website–including 7.8 million members who pay a fee to cheat on their spouse.

My client learned about Read More »

The Silver Lining of Divorce

Starting your divorce? In the middle of your divorce and need a little inspiration? Click here to read this article about life after divorce and how your actions now will help you build your future.

Something to Brighten Your Day

This is a video of a homeless man in Santa Barbara and his pets. They work State Street every week for donations. The animals are pretty well fed and are mellow.

The man rigged a harness up for his cat so she wouldn’t have to walk so much. At some juncture the rat came along, and as no one wanted to eat anyone else, the rat started riding with the cat and, often, on the cat! The dog will stand all day and let you talk to him and admire him for a few chin scratches.

The Mayor of Santa Barbara Read More »

More About Forgiveness . . . And Life’s Little Ironies

I remember Marianne Williamson once saying that when she prayed for a more spiritual life, it came . . . in a series of tests and struggles. Well, I’ve had my own ironic moment just recently. In my post last month on Forgiveness (click here to read full article), I wrote about my personal experience of forgiving someone who had hurt and betrayed me. I talked about how powerful it was to forgive, how it brought me great peace, and so I am a big believer in striving for forgiveness even in the worst of situations. After Read More »